Minimizing Stress with Back to School Routines

Enjoying the summer and the freedom of being schedule free is fun. It allows children to make their own schedules for the day without having many time restrictions on what they do.  Getting back into a routine for school can be challenging. It may bring on some extreme emotions that a child can have a hard time managing.  Helping them to manage the disappointment of summer ending and adapting to an earlier bedtime can be difficult for parents too. Adding visuals (pictures) to structure these transitions will help to minimize the stress they are feeling while helping them to manage what needs to be done.  

Creating visuals for morning and bedtime routines will give children the predictability they need to manage the unknown of the new schedule and the many changes that come with a new school year. The brain seeks patterns and predictability to create safety. Starting a new school year is filled with a lack of predictability and changing teachers is a major stressor for children. Knowing what is coming next soothes the lower centers of the brain and will give the child a sense of control in knowing what is coming next.  

“Visuals never get tired of telling children what to do but adults do.”  Dr Jenny Barkac 

Children learn through images so it is important to have visuals even if you believe they do not need them.  In times of stress the brain has a hard time accessing what is known and an image provides safety in what to do next.  Below are a couple of examples of what you could do to create a visual routine for children.  They will love being part of the process of making these schedules. 

To create your visual routines, think of the things you want your child to do each morning to get ready for school. Use clip art to visually show the process or take pictures of your child doing these things.  Do the same thing for a bedtime routine.   

Don’t forget to make time for connecting rituals in the morning before leaving and in the evening before bed.  Something as simple as a special hug or rhyme that ends with a handshake or gentle touch is perfect.  Be sure these connections have eye contact, a gentle touch, are present in the moment and a little playful.  These connecting rituals help soothe the lower centers of the brain and also provide comfort. Looking forward to these special moments will help to relieve the stress of having to leave home or go to bed.  

Creating a new routine takes time, so be prepared to teach and reteach. Don’t forget to take a deep breath every time you feel yourself becoming frustrated.  You are helping to wire your child’s brain and that can be hard work.  As they make mistakes, offer grace and say “Oops, let go look at your routine to see what comes next”.  Encouragement is essential while teaching and coaching children through daily routines. 

Written by Dr. Jenny Barkac and inspired by the work of Dr. Becky Bailey.  For more helpful parenting information go to www.consciousdiscipline.com.